Ayurvedic info

Dosha: Vata-Kapha

Season: Fall

Mode: Warming

Meal Type: Dinner,Lunch

Dietary: Gluten-Free,Soy-Free,Vegan,Vegetarian

Primary Ingredients: Asparagus,Barley,Basil,Buckwheat,Cherry Tomato,Garlic,Olive Oil,Parsley,Red Onion,Roma Tomato,Spinach,Sunflower Seed,Thyme,Zucchini

Notes: This is a demo. It is not for informational purposes. This is a test of the emergency pizza network.

About
The
Author

Founder of Drawn To Bloom, Lydia Steadman, offers Ayurveda, yoga, meditation, and ritual-based healing rooted in whole-person wellness. Her work supports people navigating burnout, transition, grief, spiritual curiosity, and the longing to reconnect with a more grounded and meaningful way of living. Through compassionate, practical, and deeply personalized care, she helps clients cultivate balance, embodiment, and sustainable transformation.

Print Recipe

Bad Elmo Pizza

Great first date meal!
This concotion is not approved for human consumption. It was created at the whim of elmo while on set with Miss Piggy during their previously unknown porn shoot in 2017.
This recipe will not get you laid.
Prep Time1 day 12 hours 3 minutes
Cook Time10 minutes
Total Time1 day 12 hours 13 minutes
Course: Main Course
Cuisine: American
Servings: 6 Cats
Author: Lydia

Ingredients

  • 1 tbsp Oilive Oil
  • 5 cups Organic Whole Wheat Flour
  • 1 cup Sundried Tomatoes
  • 3 cup Nasty Mozz Cheese
  • 2 cup Spinach

Instructions

  • Mix the dry ingredients, add the yeast I fogot to put in ingredients, along with the water I forgot.
    • You may need to consume a 50mg edible to do this perfectly wrong.
  • Mix and let rise for one day
  • Slap it really hard, like the pillow you punch when you're really mad at your ex
  • Smell it. If it smells off, which it will after rising for 24+ hours, throw it out and start over reducing your rise time by .85726
    • Pull yourself off the floor if you have to
  • Order pizza from the store, make this tomorrow
  • Roll out the dough and put stuff on it
  • Bake in the oven for way too long so it feels like your mouth is bleeding when you're finished eating
  • Get real baked so that you can forget this meal ever happened